Some games just shouldn’t be imported. One such game is Blade & Sword from Chinese developer Pixel Software (or maybe Pixel Studio). It purportedly “combines Diablo-like action elements and Street Fighter arcade combat together.” That sounds promising enough, but, oh my, once you start up the game it doesn’t take long to realize the developers had no idea what they were doing, or that they were masochists, or that they were in some weird time warp circa 1996. Blade & Sword pretty much has zero going for it.
Since Blade & Sword is so bad, I’m going to deviate from my regular reviewing style, and instead I’m going to ask everybody to put on their imagination caps. Ready? Ok, imagine if you will...
... a game just like Diablo, except it doesn’t have any equipment, and where character development is so boring and useless you might not bother to spend your skill points.
... a game that takes place in an alternate Chinese universe, and that includes real Chinese historical figures, but is boring because you’ve never heard of any of them.
... a game where way too many creatures can kill you in two hits, but where you need to hit them about 500 times to kill them.
... a game where you have to click a mouse button every time you want to attack (re-imagine the previous sentence), and where your index finger might fall off because of it.
... a game so badly documented you might not be able to figure out how to use the most powerful fighting maneuvers.
... a game where the publisher didn’t bother to add voice acting.
... a game with bad graphics and worse animations.
... a game with the most boring level scenery you’ve ever seen.
... a game that completely rips off the teleportation system and Horadric Cube from Diablo II, and doesn’t even bother to hide it (or at least try to make them somewhat different)
... a game so badly translated (or goofy) you’ll need to retrieve a “fish intestine sword.”
Get the idea? Blade & Sword is just a bad game, so bad that while I was playing it I kept wondering if I was wasting my time, and finally decided I was about halfway through. I also ran into a boss that I had no idea how to kill, and it made my decision easier. (Laughably, it took me about 15 hours to get halfway through the game, but Blade & Sword’s web site advertises it has 140 hours of gameplay. Uh huh. I don’t want to meet the glutton for punishment who plays it through five times.) I almost never give up on games halfway through, but Blade & Sword is one of those rare gems. So stay away from it, even if somebody tries to give it to you for free. And if somebody does offer it to you for free, ponder their motivation. Maybe they don’t like you.