Hey people out in gaming land, this is your friendly neighbourhood reviewer TraderX back again with a new review for a new (I think) game. Now, before I start I've got to give you some quick background on this "game". My day was going perfect, nice weather, Quake 2, and some great food.. UNTIL I installed a little game called Berzerker Birdz. Now I have to say, this game is so depressing it's not even funny. Probably coded by some dude in his basement, with some cheesy graphics and awful gameplay, this may be the saddest game 1998 has seen so far.
Let's start with the gameplay (what's left of it)... Okay when you first start it up your are directly in the game. At first I thought this was some kind of introduction of some sort, so I naturally pressed escape. There it was, the button saying "Return to the action", my first thought was how can I _return_ to the action if it never started? Okay, so I click on it and it's back in the screen I thought was the introduction. I could not believe that this was the game!?!?! Anyways, I tried to make best of what was available. The basics of the the gameplay are you are some sort of screwed up bird saving the galaxy from what remotely resembles space aliens. Nice story line, but I think these were trashed about 10 years ago... Anyway, you are on some sort of surfboard and you float around and shoot this aliens. First level was pretty good, second level was okay, third level started getting annoying, and by the fifth level it is quite obvious that every level is the same! I truly think the aliens do the exact same movements in every level, okay maybe thats taking a bit too far, but that is the feeling you get. That's about as far the gameplay goes folks! As for the control, well left click puts you in "shoot mode" (guess what that does) and r-click puts you in "flying mode" (another big guess here...).
Okay, now that that is out of the way, we can get to the Okay part of the game. The sound, I must admit its not half as a bad as the gameplay, althought it could definately use some work. The laser blasts are pretty cheesy, and same with the explosion sound (no, that's not meant to be plural). But everything else is okay, and the music (which I think was done by the coder playing his guitar) is half decent as well.. So if you want something to listen to, you _might_ consider playing this game.
As far as graphics go, man they need some work. Even my good friend Phire can honestly create better graphics in a game. I mean, even the menus look ghetto! I think the game uses 8 bit colour, and has NO hardware support whatsoever. So all the 3DFX fans will be glad to know another game is out there to take advantage of the $200 they spent . Um, what else can I say besides take a look at the screenshots (I tried to get the best ones possible), to see for yourself if you don't believe me. The 3D rendered Berzerker Bird at the beginning (which is a still image) is the only worthy component in the graphical department, so the game get a few points for having him.
There is no multiplayer or anything of the sort, the options range from "loud to soft" and the difficulty levels are far too varied. I mean, putting it on very difficult let's you see the screen for approximately 5 seconds before it's Game-Over.
So here is my overall opinion: Don't even bother with this game. I know some of you out there are just going to try it to see how bad it is for yourself, and if (for some odd undiscovered reason) you DO like the game, then don't argue with me about it, I'm just a reviewer. Damn, I forgot to mention the elite code base this game was programmed in, Macromedia Director, yea the same sh*t they use to make educational software and such (once again, just ask Phire on IRC). What it all boils down to? Well if you need a good laugh, pick up this game, I think it retails for $5.99 at Stikman's Kwiki Mart.