Remakes seem to be a recent trend in the entertainment industry,
a trend that all too often fails to click. Whether it's a remake of an
old arcade classic or a black and white movie, the end result is
more often than not a bomb that reflects poorly on its predecessor.
When WizardWorks announced at E3 that they were updating the
classic Beachhead from the 80s, it became evident that Beachhead
2000 could be the next title to fall prey to this recent trend, and boy
The concept behind Beachhead 2000 is similar to the original title.
As a lone turret gunner, you are the last bastion of defence against
an overwhelming onslaught of enemy fire. It's your job to fend off
the waves of enemy forces coming from every conceivable
direction, whether it via land, sea or air. The concept is extremely
basic and repetitive to say the least. It might have worked in the
80s but that's partially due to the fact that there weren't many
alternatives at the time, not to mention the original Beachhead
offered a few twists. Beachhead 2000, on the other hand, offers
little else than a never-ending onslaught of enemy fire. That's
right, I said never-ending. Beachhead 2000 features unlimited
levels of this 'pulse-pounding' action. There's no end in sight in this
game. Don't get me wrong, unlimited levels done well can easily
result in mindless fun. This has been the case in several of the
arcade classics from the 80s. If it's done poorly though, it simply
becomes an annoying game that'll quickly be deleted. As I write
this review, Beachhead 2000 is en route to the dump because it
fails to deliver even on the most basic of levels.
Beachhead 2000 is supposed to simulate the drama of military
conflict. For starters, any country that defends their beaches with a
lone gunner is one sandwich short of a picnic basket. It's pure
nonsense to think that a single soldier can defend the land from such
an onslaught of enemy fire. For the sake of this game though, we'll
look past the lack of realism and dig into the heart of this game.
What is at the heart of this game? Endless shooting, that's about it.
There are a total of four different weapons at your disposal: a
machine gun, an anti-tank weapon, missiles and a pistol. A pistol?
Sure, that'll help. Ammunition is limited so you'll have to be a
fairly accurate gunner if you wish to survive the increasingly
difficult levels. The good news is that supply planes visit from time
to time to save your carcass. How the supply planes survive the
massacre themselves is beyond me, but once again, we'll look
past the inaccuracies. The supply planes drop crates of ammo from
the sky and it's your job to shoot them down in order to obtain the
contents. Once you've done that, you can concentrate your fire
once again on the endless onslaught of enemy fire (have I said
Graphically, Beachhead 2000 features photo-realistic 3D graphics…
or so the box wishes to attest. Let me tell you guys something, I've
created stickmen in Adobe Photoshop that had more creativity
than these enemy troops. Whether its jet fighters, bombers, attack
helicopters or land troops, they all come across extremely poorly.
The terrain is absolutely horrible in all its blurry glory. The sky
textures are weak and the enemy units themselves are nothing
more than cardboard cutouts that make the fans in the stands of
any EA Sports title look impressive. In terms of audio, the sounds
feature an assortment of gunfire that seems to go on forever, just
like the onslaught of enemies. The weapon fire is extremely
generic and Beachhead 2000 offers little else otherwise.
I'm really not going to go on much further about Beachhead 2000,
it's really not worth the time and effort let alone your gaming
dollar. It's a remake and it's a budget title so it doesn't come as a
surprise how poorly it turned out. For every decent budget release
(New York Times Crossword Puzzle, Dirt Track Racing), there are
usually a handful of bombs (Innova Disc Golf, Emergency Rescue
Firefighters, Swamp Buggy, Harley Davidson) and unfortunately
Beachhead 2000 falls into the later category. D-Day is putting it