I’m not even sure how this can be considered an “official” review. It is akin to Joe schmo posting a piss poor review on his personal blog. Hopefully no one actually reads these pieces of garbage you call reviews. You haven’t even freaking finished the game! I can name 20 people that would write better reviews solely based on the fact they actually play through the entire thing and have at least an ounce of discernment.

This was probably the most idiotic review I have ever read. The amount of incorrect statements is nearly unfathomable.

“If you took this exact game, made mouse and keyboard functional (thus making the combat fun, rather than frustrating), and *gasp* added a manual save function, this would be just another third person action RPG, with very little unique about it except for how half-assed the setting and story are.’

Just face palm. Please go back to playing mario kart on your wii.

“The reason people think this game is hard is that when a boss cheap-kills them (because the boss’s bounding box blocks the player into a corner of the level or stun-locks the player with unblockable flurry attacks), they have to run all the way back from the previous spawn point (bonfire), killing all the same enemies they just killed over again. Given that some bosses are very cheap and very far away from a bonfire, this adds up to some of the most wasteful playtime I’ve ever experienced in a game, especially since you may or may not be able to keep the souls (experience) of those in-between enemies you’ve repeatedly killed a thousand times. This game isn’t hard at all, it’s just ineptly designed. So while I may only be a third of the way in, my playtime is well past thirty hours.”

I can’t even…

But all the crap being mentioned about non sense repetition of enemies it made me so angry! This guy has either never played games in the past (he must be 14 years old or something) or he started playing games recently!

Dark Souls is a great game and such a crappy review won’t ruin the game’s flair! Hence the rating of this review!

You had many preconceptions, and did not keep your mind open to an experience unfamiliar to you. I disagree with effectively the entirety of the subjective elements of your review, aside for how the game runs on PC of which I have no experience. I personally feel that Dark Souls is a masterpiece, and stands at the zenith of the medium.

I also feel that to dismiss me, and others such as myself, would be lazy. You have become complacent and overly comfortable with your views in games, you’ve stopped intellectually questioning your own long held beliefs.

Why do consoles exist? What appeal does the console controller possess? Can I truly understand the whole of a game, the alpha to omega, without watching even the end credits?

I would be happy to go into greater detail as to why I hold Dark Souls in such high esteem, and I would be very pleased if you gave the game a second chance.

1. You complain that it’s a horrible port.
Answer: Namco Bandai literally pushed them with the fans to make a port, that they themselves said they weren’t adept in making, thus, making a bad port.

2.You complain that you aren’t told anything, no context at all.
Answer: Maybe if you’d watched the intro, read the tutorials, spoken to people one or few times, You would’ve noticed this game has as much (if not more) content than your average old-styled Final Fantasy, with it’s lore gaining fame because of the fact that nobody is spoon feeding you the history of what, how and why.

Maybe you, you know, should’ve delved into it, read the item descriptions, listened to people and used some brains of your own to read through them and connect the pieces?

3.You complain that the battle mechanics and camera is inadequate.
Answer: I didn’t know you can see behind your back in real life, even as much as this one? The Dark Souls gaming style goes for realism on the physics. You can’t really focus on a dozen of enemies in real life, and you never actually get swarmed in the game if you actually play it smart and patient like it’s meant to. I can understand you “elitist PC gamers” who still feud over such matters as the console wars being snobby and thinking you can just run it through no sweat. Most of the PC gamers still use Cheat Engines and hacks to finish this. (I myself am also a PC gamer, not using hacks, also played on the Ps3 before it came out on the PC.)

4.You complain that armor and equipment is accessible to all levels
Answer: Sure, it may seem unfair at first. But those people still need stats for certain items and have to level up just like you to use them. They were simply better than you, got better equipment by fighting to get them, and spent time upgrading them.

5. You think the PvP is awful and unrewarding/pointless?
Answer: In case you didn’t know. People invade you to gain humanity. The PvP isn’t all deathmatch/arena (even though that’s in the game now as well). Because it’s made to be dynamic along with the enviroment. I think it has one of the best PVP systems that has ever been made, actually blending it with the game of it’s own.

6.You think the visuals are not impressing?
Answer: It’s a “post-apocalyptic” envireoment if you will. The name is DARK Souls. It tells of a world where fire and light is fading away. You expect for it to shit sunshines and rainbows on you? It has colorful areas in it. But since you weren’t obviously exactly “paying attention” rather than trying to run it through, you probably missed the beautiful scenery they present to you (if you ever got that far)

Overall, I could keep on writing you to the size of a small book. You have absolutely no respect for the game, only due to your own simple lack of interest or effort in it. The game isn’t really “difficult”. If you were patient, gave it a try, tried out your own playstyle you might’ve actually gotten accustomed to it. It’s not Skyrim. Skyrim forc-efed you it’s lore like a bad cuisine, and I lost interest in it before hitting 60 hours on the game because I couldn’t even freely level up my character.

I enjoy a lot of video games, and I’d review a lot of them myself. I have over 600 hours on Dark Souls, 400 on TF2, and 300 on Binding of Isaac. My list varies a lot. But you should really at least TRY to focus when playing this game. It’s not supposed to force-feed you. The tutorials and the story is there, go, play it again, and actually focus on it this time.

Hmmm… Did you know that you could click in the right thumb stick to lock on to enemies, like it said in the tutorial?

here:
“Dark Souls happens to be missing an important, if not central, component that all RPGs should have”

Just because a game doesn’t have every single aspect of your favorite game, does not mean it is a bad game.

here:
“Given that almost everything you fight is a zombie of one kind or another”

So, I guess you never got past Undead Parish, (THE SECOND AREA OF THE GAME) because that is the point in the game where the enemies aren’t zombies anymore.

and the last one:

“No meaningful dialogue”

which directly contradicts an earlier statement:

“indisputable fact; almost every game can be judged with a high degree of accuracy in a matter of minutes if you have enough gaming experience”

Yes, some of the things you’ve stated ARE opinions, but you have no facts supporting them. Opinions with supporting facts is the WHOLE POINT of reviews.

This has been my meaningful review of your review.

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